Madness and Murder: Harley and Joker One-Shot
by KHJMLT
Summary: Harley and Joker are thrown into Arkham Assylum for the hundreth time, but this time, when they escape, will things be any different between them? Has Harley finally learned to let go, or will she be Mister J's plaything forever? And could one even rule Gotham without the other by their side? Slow burn, insanity awaits, proceed with caution


_My first ever Harley/Joker fanfiction! My boyfriend got me into this pairing, and I've been hooked ever since. I really liked the chemistry between the pair in_ Suicide Squad _, but this story is written mostly based on their characterization in_ Batman: the Animated Series _, with some influences from a couple other adaptations such as the_ Mad Love _comics thrown in there. I think the animated series had the best and most fun Harley. It might take a little while for me to update next, but bear with me! I don't have a ton of ideas for this story at the moment, but I wanted to put it out there and see how it was received. And please leave me comments telling me if you like it, what you think of the plot, and what you want to happen next! I love reading reviews! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy._

 **Chapter 1**

"One hundred thirty one, one hundred thirty two…yep, they haven't redone the ceiling tiles since the last time I was here." Disappointed, the blonde sprawled across the lone pallet in the corner of the cell rolled onto her side and stared at the wall unenthusiastically.

"You could at least get a girl a book or somethin'…Even some normal, boring stuff." The girl sat up and dangled her feet over the edge of the bed, kicking them back and forth while thinking out loud. "Like a cookbook, some life tips, how to blow up an entire insane asylum using only items found in a standard cell…you know." She shrugged to the air. "I'm not asking for much, really."

Not receiving the attention she craved, she rose from the bunk, pigtails springing to life as she did so, and banged on the door of her cell, shouting to the guard nearby. "Hey, you! Can you bring a girl some playing cards or somethin'? I'm goin' crazy in here!"

The guard approached the bulletproof glass and sneered down at her. "Last time I checked, you werealreadycrazy, Doctor Quinzel. That's why you're here."

Harley stuck out her jaw. "There's no need for name-calling, ya know. But if you are gonna call me names, at least call me Harley Quinn, Clown Queen of Gotham, or the-"

"Doctor," the guard interrupted her. "You're here because of the crimes you committed, and in order to try to get your sanity back-"

"Oh, sanity schmanity!" she exclaimed, doing a pirouette before pressing her face up against the glass to make the strangest face possible, crossing her eyes while she did so. "We all have a bit of a spring loose," she said, her voice muffled by the way her lips were squished against the glass, "Don't ya think?" She cocked her head and pulled on a springy strand of hair, letting it snap back in place in her pigtail. The guard did not respond.

"Humph!" She folded her arms across her chest. "Anyway, don't you all say this place supposed to be about rehabilitation or somethin'? I'm just trying to think of some improvements you all could make around here. Constructive criticism, right?"

The guard rolled his eyes and started to walk away.

"This place needs a total facelift, I'm talking a full style makeover! It's so drab! Not to mention some fun after-prison activities…Ooh! An Arkham softball team! That could be fun, right?" She smiled eagerly. The guard ignored her and returned to his post, and she sighed and turned away, disheartened. She spun around briefly to blow a raspberry in his direction, then sulked back toward her cot.

She slumped down on the bed and rested her chin on her hand with the other aimlessly twisted the tan bedsheet.

"You got yourself in reeeeeal deep this time, Harl," she muttered under her breath, pouting.

xXxXxXxXx

In fairness, it wasn't _all_ Harley's fault. Granted, she had been a willing player in the latest heist gone bad, a futile attempt to rob a bank thwarted by none other than the Dark Knight himself. But it had been the Joker's idea from the start. His need for comedic timing cost them big time, and Batman had descended from the ceiling just at Joker was getting ready to reveal the punchline to a frightened clerk staring down the barrel of his gun. After Joker took a few punches from Batman and lay slumped on the ground, Harley didn't even put up a fight.

"I know, Batsy." She dropped her mallet and held her hands out, waiting for the handcuffs. "Back to the slammer for ol' Harley and Mister J."

Thrown back into separate cells in Arkham Assylum, the pair prepared to serve their time. But they had broken out of Arkham before, and Harley knew they would do it again.

Her scheming was interrupted by a guard opening to door to escort her to the mess hall, since so far her behavior hadn't ended her up in solitary, and Harley leapt at the chance to get out of her cell and to catch a glimpse of the Joker. She hurriedly ran to the door, let the guard put her in cuffs, and followed him down the hall.

Harley looked around as they went down another hallway. Vague screaming could be heard that grew louder as they approached. Looking to her left, Harley caught a glimpse of pair of feet strapped to a table, and she could hear the electroshock therapy pulsing through him.

"Ahh, memories," Harley said, swooning. The guards raised their eyebrows and exchanged looks, one of them tugging her along.

 _You know, sweets, I like what I've heard about you…_

She remembered how it had all started, back when she was Dr. Quinzel and Mister J was nothing more than her patient.

 _You're always taking shots from people who just don't get the joke…_

When she still believed that Batman was the hero, before she realized that he was just a vigilante bully, set out on ruining another poor man's life.

 _There as always was the self-righteous Batman, determined to make life miserable for my angel…_

And before she realized that that poor man was the love of her life.

 _As unprofessional as it sounds, I had fallen in love with my patient…_

But that was all so long ago. Back before he helped her discover who she was truly meant to be.

 _Harleen Quinzel. Rework it a bit, and you've got Harley Quinn…It's a name that puts a smile on my face…_

Throughout the entire meal, Harley sat mostly isolated from the other prisoners. No one would dare to mess with her; even without her full costume, everyone knew who she was, and more importantly, who she belonged to. And as for Harley, the isolation didn't bother her in the slightest. All she wanted to do was catch a glimpse of green hair coming around the corner…

But she never did. On that day, the next day, or the next, there was no Joker to be found. Finally, she dared to ask one of the guards, but all they did was laugh.

After it became clear to her that she would not see the Joker during her imprisonment, Harley laid in bed for the rest of the day, nearly comatose and trying to muffle the snuffling through her tears. The next morning, the guards had to drag her out of bed in order to get her breakfast.

After another lonely meal time, Harley returned back to her cell begrudgingly, dragging her feet. Even her pigtails looked deflated. But as she entered the cell, she noticed something new on her bed.

A pack of playing cards.

Squealing with delight and instantly perking up, she ran over to them and ripped them out of the box. She threw the cardboard to one side, then froze.

The very first card in the deck was a Joker.

Harley swooned.

"Oh, thank you, Mister J!" Harley cried, knowing that he could somehow hear her even though her shouts were drowned out by the other inmates. "I knew you wouldn't forget about me!"

She eagerly sat on the floor and began to deal out her new cards.

xXxXxXxXx

"He loves me…he loves me not."

A few hours later, Harley discovered that there were only so many games of solitaire she could play before growing bored, and she had resorted to laying on her bed and treating the cards like flower petals, throwing them aimlessly around the room.

"He loves me…he loves me not…he loves me…he loves me not…"

Harley furrowed her brow in confusion as she ran out of cards. Rummaging through the discarded box, she found a blank instructional card and put it in her hand.

"HE LOVES ME!" she cried, throwing the card with glee. "Aww, I knew it! Mister J is probably finding some way for us to escape right now!" Harley swooned and sunk down to the floor. "Ahh, I love him, too. Don't worry, Puddin. We'll be reunited again soon."


End file.
